1. |
demons
04:19
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you were right there
glancing at me
your eyes gave you away in the end
you scared me to death
obsessed by your demons
I gave you no space
strategic demons
held my heart with iron clads
immobile
I suffocated lovingly
I couldn't breathe
you call it projection
I call it love at first sight
it works
until it doesn't
obsessed by your demons
I gave you no space
obsessed by your demons
I gave you no space
I like red
but not like that
obsessed by your demons
I gave myself no space
I love you more than myself
that's the problem at hand
I am working on it
to get to know me is a longterm project
I thought you liked those
why did you give up
that dream of us
obsessed by you demons
I gave myself no space
obsessed by your demons
I gave you no space
obsessed by you demons
I gave myself no space
obsessed by your demons
I gave you no space
obsessed by you demons
I gave myself no space
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2. |
some days
03:36
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scar tissue at heart
mend me
bend me
STOP!
mend me
bend me
STOP!
scar tissue at heart
some days
some days
you better get up
some days
you better just shut up
some days
you better just step up
scar tissue at heart
some days
you better just fuck up
scar tissue at heart
some doors
you better keep shut
scar tissue at heart
some days
some days
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3. |
your name
05:18
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you know -
I love clouds
appear
dissipate
bulge
frazzled edges
your name your name your name
volatile accumulations of water
a small summer cloud weighs 25 tons
5 adult elephants
your name your name your name
steels
[the weight of my heart]
the sky
steels the sky
your name your name your name
steels the sky
the sky
your name your name your name
steels
the sky
you know -
I love clouds
but now - I look at them and every single one of them makes me think
the sky
what I said
what I didn’t say
every single one of them
makes me wonder
what would had happened
if I if I if I
would not had been scared
of my heart
your name
steels the sky
you know -
I love clouds
your name your name your name
steels
the sky
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4. |
The Three Soul Man
02:24
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you’re the three soul man
you’re the three soul man
your anger is not your anchor
your anger is not your anchor
if you dar
if you care
go
to the cosmic womb
you’re the three soul man
you’re the three soul man
the invisible delinquent
takes what is not his
what is your energy signature
stick to it
your freedom ends where mine begins
you’re the three soul man
you’re the three soul man
the white silent lamb
senses its innocence
its woolen fibers - dirty and wet
from an ancient ocean of tears
love is there for you
never forget!
you’re the three soul man
you’re the three soul man
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5. |
m[use]
03:32
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I am I am I am
no
no
muse
I am I am I am
no
no
muse
I am I am I am
no muse
to abuse
I am I am I am
no muse
to abuse
I am I am I am
no muse
to use
I am I am I am
no muse
to use
to abuse
walking in your shoes
I am I am I am
no muse
to use
I am I am I am
no muse
to use
walking in your shoes
I am I am I am
no muse
to use
that will loose
I am I am I am
no muse
that will loose
to confuse
I refuse to be a muse
be a muse
for your use
for your use
I refuse to be a muse
be a muse
I refuse
|
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6. |
VOID ID
05:25
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space and time collapse
layer after layer
life after life
1000 years ago
further
further
how many more years of crying
I can’t go back now
|
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7. |
Big Hearts
05:02
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love at first sight
the crown of love
so I thought
but noooo
I have a choice
love at first sight
we fall in love
attracted by
unresolved conflicts of the past
Big Hearts are for Fools
OH
Big Hearts are for Fools
Big Hearts are for Fools
it was a channel of white light
from one heart to the other
I thought
how beautiful
tantalized by its atomic fission
but in the end
I was left in the dark
hopes shattered on the cliffs of our actions
sucked
into the abyss of night
no boundaries in sight
love at first sight
the gate
the key
the lock
the map
spirit agenda hidden behind the next bend
love at first sight
iridescent heart
pushing for truth
beating in the rhythm of your heart
Big Hearts are for Fools
OH
Big Hearts are for Fools
Big Hearts are for Fools
it can be full of sharing light
darker
than before time and sight
it can be heaven
it can be hell
there is no god
only a dog who is greedy for “spiders in the twilight"*
Big Hearts are for Fools
OH
Big Hearts are for Fools
Big Hearts are for Fools
Big Hearts are for Fools
OH
Big Hearts are for Fools
Big Hearts are for Fools
love at first sight
mountain hues
green grass
somewhere else
yearning blue
waiting pink
sitting
with ranging red
Big Hearts are for Fools
OH
Big Hearts are for Fools
Do you hear me?
Big Hearts are for Fools
|
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8. |
The Feral Hymn
12:11
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I ate fate
and puked
I guess I didn’t learn my lesson the last time
you suck me dry
I nearly died
no Qi left
it’s all going down the drain
my heart channel
to you
you suck me dry
how do I
shut this door
you turned me into this energy source
unknowingly
I guess
you suck me dry
We are feral as fuck!
and you know it …
you ripped my heart open and left me to bleed
but who is to blame other than me
I hope I know you kind by now
energy vampires
living black hole entities
dark energies attached
Stay the FUCK away from me!
Keep your bite to yourself!
I ate fate
and puked
there is no god
only energy
remembering what my consciousness has not yet discovered
there is only energy
stored in different densities
in my cells
resurfacing
attracting
spewing
self destructing
you suck me dry
We are feral as fuck!
and you know it …
I don’t believe in psychology
special population
bipolar
ADD
addicted
co-dependent
aggressive
manic depressive
suicidal
and the lot
I don’t believe in psychology
it is symptomatic to the soul
restrained from taking action
our souls
within our bodies
stricken by inherited stress and trauma
not only from this life time
emotional stagnation
explosion
break down
you cal it whatever
I call it
rebirth of old DNA
accept it
souls just never die
it was darker than dark
it was darker than dark
it was darker than dark
luckily the exorcist didn’t die
and still
I love you
foolish
I know
but the only way to defeat the dark
I consumed your mystery
trying to understand you
intruding your mind
I am sorry!
you weren’t talking …
you - you are consuming my heart
for your creativity and plain survival
Are we fucking even by now?
Or did I kill you in my past life?
Like you
the same with me, myself and I
I need to love my darkest dark
I need to love my darkest dark
I need to love my darkest dark
Self-Love
is more important than love
these days
Believe me!
We are feral as fuck!
and you know it …
highly sensitive people
in ‘unsuiting' environments
no education system to hone our skills
hunters in uncapped capitalism
gatherers in uncapped capitalism
what can I say
the world we live in
We are feral as fuck!
if you are not on the bottom of the food chain
getting killed by hunger, repression or war
if you are privileged - somehow
like myself
we are
stuffing our black holes with
work
consumer goods - food included
sugar bombs
chocolate
over eating or starving ourselves to death
buying stuff to up our self worth
keeping the profit rolling
you suck me dry
but I guess
this is just an example of the invisible cogs of patriarchy
the well of female energy
sucked dry
through open heart connections
empathy
that’s a spectrum statement
wake up wake up
What are you using your energy for?
… for the highest good of all Beings!
… for the love of the light!
… for eternity!
STOP sucking me dry!
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9. |
Hey - Inside of Me!
02:34
|
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Hey - inside of me!
Whatever will be - will be
Whatever will be - inside of me …
will be me but me!
Hey - inside of me!
Whatever will be - will be
Whatever will be - inside of me …
will be me but me!
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10. |
I just want to BE
03:07
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I just wanted to be, too.
I just wanted to be, too.
I just wanted.
I just wanted.
I just wanted to be special, too.
I just wanted to be special, too.
I just wanted.
I just wanted.
I just wanted to be special
to you.
I just wanted
I just wanted
I just want
I just want
I just want to BE!
-
I just wanted to be, too.
I just wanted to be, too.
I just wanted.
I just wanted.
I just wanted to be special, too.
I just wanted to be special, too.
I just wanted.
I just wanted.
I just wanted to be special
to you.
I just wanted
I just wanted
I just want
I just want
I just want to BE!
|
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11. |
squirrel love
05:59
|
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Paint the life that you want to live!
Paint the love that you like to live!
Paint the life that you want to live!
Paint the love that you like to give!
squirrel life
when are you going to happen
oh - squirrel life
when are you going to happen
first
we need to love ourselves
first
we need to love the Other
first
we need to heal life
heal life
heal everything around
-
Paint the life that you like to live!
Paint the love that you like to live!
squirrel love
when are you going to happen
oh - squirrel love
when are you going to happen
first
I need to love myself
first
I need to heal myself
first
I need to forgive myself
forgive myself
forgive
everybody involved
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qualia-c Oakland, California
qualia-c alias Tanja London is a German performing, haptic and visual artist as well as somatic educator living in West Oakland, CA.
www.qualia-c.com www.tanjalondon.com
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